What is the proper etiquette for a stepmother at a wedding?

Stepmother wedding etiquette can be a sticky situation depending on how well the biological mother and stepmother get along. If the two parties can be friendly, the happy couple can arrange things however they choose.

How many of us have heard of that happening, though? Assuming that there is some discord, the following guidelines can help the stepmother follow proper wedding etiquette for her stepchild.

The first place to start thinking of wedding etiquette for the stepmother is in what she chooses to wear. Normally, the stepmother should dress just as any other guest.

If the bride wants to include her stepmother, it is acceptable wedding etiquette for the stepmother to wear coordinated colors and styles with the other mothers; however, she should never dress more formally or try to out shine the biological mother or bride.

Next, where should the stepmother be seated according to proper wedding etiquette? Once again, the bride has the last say, but typically the stepmother should sit in the third row behind the biological parents.

Yes, it may seem awkward to have the mother and her ex-husband sit on the second row together, but this is a family event for the bride, not a contest in who is the latest wife of the father.

Stepmothers shouldn’t feel too badly since wedding etiquette for stepmother and stepfathers also have the biological mother sitting without her second husband if she is remarried. Family photos could be the next sticking point for a possible stepmother wedding etiquette faux pas.

Most photographers will arrange separate photos for biological parents and stepparents. Rarely would both be in the same photo, and if this does occur the two mothers would be placed on opposite ends of the pose.

It is not unusual for the stepmother to not be included in wedding photos at all, so don’t take it personally if this happens since it does fall within the range of proper etiquette for stepmothers.

At the reception, stepmother wedding etiquette expects the stepmother to take the backseat once again unless she and the father are hosting the reception.

If the mother held the wedding and the father holds the reception, it would be perfectly acceptable for the stepmother to be included in the receiving line and the mother to not attend. However, if the biological mother is also throwing the reception, the stepmother should probably not even attend.

Of course, all of this nit picking stepmother wedding etiquette is just a guideline and can be adjusted to suite the needs of the bride. Finally, the dance.

How does stepmother wedding etiquette deal with the family dance at the reception? Again, the stepmother is asked to bow out gracefully and let the bride share this special day with the two people who brought her into this world.

The father would dance with the bride and the groom’s biological mother would dance with the groom. If there is a family dance provided, the stepparents can then dance with their own partner.

Hopefully, these stepmother wedding etiquette hints will help you plan and deal with wedding plans for you stepchild without making embarrassing or hurtful mistakes.