Having become quite popular in recent years, the unity candle can present some sticky questions. What is the proper wedding etiquette for lighting honor candles for the family? What if one parent is deceased therefore not there to participate in the candle lighting ceremony?
Let’s start with the typical candle lighting tradition. If you are having a Catholic or Jewish wedding, talk to your officiate to determine etiquette for lighting honor candles in those services. It may not be allowed.
Otherwise, the most common tradition is to have the mothers of the bride and groom step up to light a single taper candle as they are being seated before the bride walks the aisle. If a family member is deceased, those candles could be lit by family members or bridal party members before the ceremony.
The couple might also decide to light the individual candles themselves or they may have the mothers come up to light them during the ceremony at the appropriate time.
The larger unity candle, which is set off to the side of the alter, is not lit until after the vows and rings are exchanged, according to wedding etiquette for lighting honor candles.
Usually, the officiate explains the symbolism before the bride and groom use the taper candles to simultaneously light the one larger candle. They may blow out the individual taper, symbolizing their becoming one, or they may leave them lit to symbolize the extended families support of the one married unit.
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Usually, a song of the couple’s choosing is played during the candle lighting portion of the ceremony. Wedding etiquette for lighting honor candles also provide guidelines for using candles to remember a deceased parent or grandparent.
This can be a large candle set on a table to the side, or a candelabrum with taper candles if there is more than one that you want to honor. If the candle is to honor the bride’s deceased parent, she may stop and light it as she proceeds down the aisle.
I have seen a rose placed in the seat that the mother would have occupied, also, as a sentimental song was played to signify the longing for the mother’s presence.
The unity candle and honor candles are one area in which wedding etiquette for lighting candles is a little more open to the couples interpretation. You can arrange the lighting ceremony in many different ways and still remain within tasteful wedding etiquette.