Who says what and when at the reception? That will depend on whether you want a traditionally reception or something more modern. Traditionally, wedding toasts etiquette did not include the bride or other females making toasts, but we all know that today many women want to have a say at the reception also.
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This information will pertain mainly to traditional roles in wedding toasting. Before even looking at who speaks and when, it is important to remember that all speeches should be designed to be non-offensive to both the bride and groom’s families.
Something that could be hilarious for one family might be seen as poor taste in another, so it is good wedding etiquette to make sure the toasts or tasteful enough for both sides. The speaker should also consider the formality of the reception.
Obviously, if the reception is a black tie affair, the toast would need to be more formal; whereas, a reception at the local bar and grill might lend itself to funnier less formal stories. Check with the happy couple beforehand to see what boundaries they are expecting as wedding etiquette for the toasts.
Wedding toasts etiquette starts here…
Who speaks first? Traditionally, the best man goes first. Wedding etiquette for the best man’s toast suggests that he tell a couple of stories about the couple. Again, keep it clean so as not to offend anyone.
He should also thank both sets of parents for helping the couple come to this point. Since this is the bride’s special day, the best man ends with a toast to the bride. Following wedding etiquette for toasts, the groom would go next. Of course, he would thank his best man for giving such a nice toast to his bride.
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It is appropriate for the groom to thank everyone from both sets of parents, to the guests, to his bride, and finally to the bridesmaids. He should toast the bridesmaids for all their beauty and help.
While thanking his bride, he may include sweet stories of how they met with a little gentle teasing. Proper etiquette for the toast would never have the groom tease her to embarrassment or praise the bridesmaids so much as to make her jealous.
Finally, the father of the bride gets his turn to say a few words. Wedding etiquette for his toast has him welcoming the guests to this wonderful celebration. He can bring in nostalgia of his little girl before he toasts the bride and groom and announces that the festivities can begin.
Again, some teasing is expected, but never so much as to embarrass the bride on her perfect day. If other close friends or relatives want to give toasts, it is perfectly allowable. Wedding etiquette for toasts is changing fast with the times.
Many brides also toast their grooms and the parents, which was never heard of in the traditional order of things. So plan it for whatever suits your family and friends since it’s your day anyway.