What wedding etiquette says about kids and miss manners?

Depending on how you picture your wedding day to be, you may decide that children are a large part of that or should not be anywhere near your special day. Everyone has seen the videos and pictures that unruly or bored kids can cause when the bride just wanted an elegant event.

If you are not prepared for mishaps, embarrassing comments, or rude sounds, you may elect to ban children not only from the wedding party, but also the whole ceremony and reception. This will be okay considering wedding etiquette for kids.

If you love children, or if this is a second marriage in which you want your children or step-children involved, then make sure you follow some simple wedding etiquette tips for kids and their manners.

First, try to plan the ceremony early in the day before the kids get too tired. Second, plan to have the ceremony locally so that the kids can keep their normal routine and be in their own bed up to the very moment.

Third, try not to be a perfectionist over hair and neatness, especially if the kids are very young. Fourth, if you know the child is a behavior problem, you might want to move on to one that has a better reputation for behaving for longer periods of time.

Other wedding etiquette for kids to help them make “miss manners” proud include providing distractions. For example, let them dress and wait in a separate area where you can possibly have on a kid friendly video.

By all means, don’t have them dressed hours beforehand unless you want them to look totally disheveled. Try to choose children between the ages of four and seven for flower girls and ring bearers since they will be able to pay attention and stay focused longer.

If the children are older than this, give them more “grown up” tasks like junior groomsmen or guest book attendant. Give small children a chance to have a snack and a nap beforehand, and don’t make them stand with the wedding party throughout the whole ceremony.

Make sure there is an adult that is responsible for helping the child throughout the ceremony. Keep a laid back attitude so that you’ll be ready for anything the little tikes may come up with.

The most important wedding etiquette tip for kids at weddings is to cherish everything they do even if it seems embarrassing at the moment. I had one little 3-year-old girl cry all the way through my ceremony, “I want cake,” because her mother had promised her cake if she was good.

At first I almost had it dubbed out of the video, but later we looked back and had a good laugh at how the promise of a prize had the opposite effect on this little one. If you don’t get your feathers ruffled by a few unscheduled comments or actions, you’ll be better able to keep the distraction to a minimum and enjoy your blissful day with everyone included.

If you can’t handle this, then it is okay not to invite the children, but you may want to provide a sitter room so that their parents can still attend.