What is proper etiquette for a deceased grandmother’s wedding ring?

There is not hard and fast etiquette dealing with a deceased grandmother’s wedding ring. In the ideal situation, the grandmother has left a will stating who should inherit which pieces of jewelry including her wedding/engagement ring set.

Many times, however, there is no will and the family is left to decide how to divide personal property among themselves. So who gets the wedding ring set? Since etiquette is based on tradition, then traditionally the oldest daughter would inherit the wedding ring set even if she is the youngest sibling.

She would then pass the ring on to her oldest daughter and so on. There is actually no etiquette rule for the deceased grandmother’s wedding ring to support this other than tradition and common sense.

If the ring were passed on to a male of the family who would give it to his intended, what would happen to that ring if the marriage failed? Wedding etiquette for jewelry says that any jewelry given to the wife is hers to keep. So the valued family heirloom would be lost to the family altogether in that situation.

If following proper etiquette for a deceased grandmother’s wedding ring seems to bring too much conflict, it may be decided to sell the ring and divide the proceeds among all the children.

However, remember that money is never the same as family tradition and connection that the ring itself can provide. It would be sad to loose something that was near and dear to a loved one. Such a prized possession should be kept in the family as long as possible for sentimental reasons.

Not only does etiquette suggest that the deceased grandmother’s wedding ring should go to the oldest daughter, it also suggests that all of her jewelry should go to females of her line in order to keep it in the family.

This is why it is important for every woman to have a will describing exactly which piece to goes to each family member. Another good plan is to give the pieces to whomever you want them to go to before your time comes if possible.

For example, when my great-grandmother became ill she gave me one of her rings and other personal household items that I still cherish. Even though she lived for several more years, she made sure that we all had the most important items that she wanted us to have.

Now, my oldest daughter knows that she will inherit the ring while my younger daughter will inherit the household items. However, a verbal agreement now might not prevent an argument once you are gone, so a will is still the best way to communicate what should be done with your personal property.