Wedding etiquette for gift giving if you’re not invited to the wedding

You know that you co-worker is getting married in a couple of weeks, but you have not received an invitation. You consider her a close friend. Are you obligated to buy her a gift even though you have not been invited to the wedding? Wedding etiquette for gift giving in the situation of not being invited to the wedding says no.

Many times couples have to keep their ceremony to a certain number of people in order to fit the size of the church or the size of their budget. Since they can’t invite everyone that they consider close friends, they will understand that proper etiquette for gift giving when the person is not invited to the wedding condones not giving a gift at all.

In most cases when the couple has people that they want to include but can’t invite to the actual ceremony, they will invite them to a reception or just send out wedding announcements the day of or shortly after the wedding. It is accepted etiquette that the announcements are in no way asking for a gift.

Now, to more of a compromise, you may want to follow the example of many workplace friendships. In my place of work, we all understand that not everyone can be invited to the wedding of every co-worker.

When one of the ladies or gentlemen announce their engagement, the other female co-workers who are close to her/him will offer to have a workplace shower for the bride-to-be. All of the females are invited to the shower in which case it is good form to give a gift then.

There may also be showers given by the bridesmaids, family, or friends of the bride that you might be invited to. Even if you were not invited to the wedding, proper etiquette for gift giving would say to send a gift since you were invited to the shower.

You should also send a gift if you were invited to only the reception in order to follow good etiquette for gift giving even when not invited to the wedding. Remember not to take it personally when you are not invited to the wedding itself.

Many times space and money constraints have to overrule what the bride and groom would really like. If you have not been invited to any showers or to the reception, then it is safe to say that you do not have to send a gift according to proper etiquette for gift giving when not invited to the wedding.