When you receive a wedding invitation card in the mail, it is proper etiquette to mail the response care promptly. What happens if you realize a week to the wedding that you have never sent in the response card? Yes, this is a major etiquette faux pas, but you can save yourself before you look completely rude and inconsiderate.
The bride probably followed wedding etiquette for sending her invitation cards out well in advance of the wedding, usually six to eight weeks, in order to give you time to make arrangements to be there on her special day.
Proper guest etiquette for sending the invitation response card says that you should RSVP the day you receive the invitation. Of course, this is not always possible because you may need to find out if your spouse is free to go that day,
If work might interfere with either of you, if the kids have a trip or other event planned, or if you can afford to travel to the wedding. That is all understandable; however, you should investigate those things as quickly as possible and send the response card in as soon as you know if you are free to attend or not.
Do you have to RSVP even if you are not going? To follow proper etiquette for sending invitation response cards, yes, you RSVP even if you can’t make it. The proper way to do so is to write a short note with your regrets and a brief explanation of why you can’t attend.
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When sending the invitation card back make sure to include your name, how many will be attending if a guest was invited, and your menu choice if one is provided. The response card won’t do the bride much good if she has no idea who it came from.
Etiquette for sending the invitation response card back has you mail it to the host of the wedding. This is usually the bride’s parents, but in modern days it is often the bride herself. It should have been pre-addressed and pre-stamped for your convenience.
If it was a blank card, you will need to handwrite your response to match however formal the invitation was. If it was formal, you will use words such as “accept with pleasure”. If the invitation was informal, it is proper etiquette for sending your response to also be informal.
If you live far enough away that the mail might not make it to the host within the week before the wedding, you should skip mailing it back in and call them instead. Many times the response card has a phone number included.
If not, you need to find a way to get the number so that you can RSVP. Although you have not quite followed proper etiquette for sending the invitation card in on time, you can save yourself by calling and letting them know if you will be attending or not.
Many hosts plan a few extra plates at the reception for just such situations. It might be good form to also apologize for having let the time get away from you.
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